Bruce saves the Future (again)

Willis didn't tower this time around in "Surrogates", finding himself second opening weekend with a modest $15 million in sales. It is to be said however that this movie did absolutely everything that a Bruce Willis movie is supposed to do and did it awesomely. Take the half-in-half-out hero who finds himself in the middle of impossible amounts of danger, beat him to within an inch of his life then let him survive and save the day, all while kicking some can.

We find Bruce in the not so distant future, turmoiled by the seperation with his wife through surrogates: remote controlled robots intended to give those with disabilities a chance at a normal life. "What was once the unthinkable has become the inevitable." claims a fabricated interview with one scientists as societies as a whole decided it would be safer and more pleasant if everyone lived vicariously through the surrogates. Unfortunately, Bruce Willis's surrogate looks like a poodle with make-up. In any case our hero rejects the use of his surrogate after a near death experience and proceeds to solve the first murder ever reported through surrogates. This is Bruce Willis, so the world is usually at stake.

Also inevitable are the parallels drawn between this movie and "The Matrix", which oddly enough drags "Surrogates" down instead of boosting it. Apparently the Wachowski Brothers, directors of the "Matrix" invented and now own full writes to "The Machine"and nobody told me. Ordained by their vision of Keanu Reeves in tight leather and cool shades, now any movie in which you enter a computer simulated world is now just a cheap copy of, you guessed it, "The Matrix." "Surrogates" did what it had to do and had a completely different message than the "Matrix". Besides, this film is closer to "i, Robot" than anything else.

Ultimately, I give "Surrogates" a 4 out of 5 and what to bring away from this movie is that in Bruce Willis vs. The Machine, Bruce wins and sue me if you didn't already see that coming.

The House That Rob Built

Hide the children, pour the liqour and dig deep for a movie ticket, Rob Zombie has released a second "Halloween", in theatres now. Let us go back a few steps. In order to gain liscence to remake John Carpenter's horror masterpiece he had to first shock and rock audiences with the creation of "The Devil's Rejects" and "House of 1000 Corpses". Now we come to the inspiration of these two movies, which is directly derived from the horrific scenes depicted in Rob Zombie's milestone album, "The Sinister Urge".

The year is 2001. Mainstream pop and the pseudo-neo rock/rap fusion would have you believe that Rock is dead when from out of the gates of Hell comes Rob Zombie, letting the world know that dead is better. 11 tracks reminiscent of a whipstitched horror film on speed take you through what is best described in the lyrics as "The house built on sin". With hits like "Feel so Numb" and "Scum of the Earth", this album of undead bar anthems is sure to resurrect anyone's lust for senseless violence and gore. Needless to say, Rob Zombie is a musician that has proven he'll be rocking past the grave.

Since "The Sinister Urge", Rob has made a few solo tracks, the stand-out being the collaboration with the band Drowning Pool "Man without Fear" which was written for the Marvel box office superhero film "Daredevil" in 2003. Rob also plans to return to music with his sequel to his original solo album "Hellbilly Deluxe", but as he moves foward, no fan will ever forget the devastating force behind "The Sinister Urge": the foundation of the house that Rob built.

Opeth's "Orchid"- Art in Season

Epicity is not a word and yet Opeth, a Swedish progressive death metal band, has it in spades. Epicity: the quality of being epic; many bands like Dragonforce and Dream Theatre strive for it and yet fall amazingly short due to their shameless, over-the-top musical antics and two-dimensional lyrics.

In their debut album released in 1992, Orchid, Opeth transported listeners to the "Forests of October" in the twilight hour to witness one of the most cinematic deaths ever captured in music. The album challeged listeners to break away from the 3-minute hook-bridge-hook-bridge-solo-hook music cycle to not just listen to music, but to appreciate moments in music and to experience them the way you would a play or a movie scene.

The album begins with the line "Seven milestones under a watching Autumn eye" and that is exactly what they are. It consists of six songs averaging about ten minutes with an interlude piano track (Yes, a piano track, on a metal album) each of which paints a thematic yet unmistakeably distinct portrait of the pain and spiritual awakening of death. The true value of Opeth however is not in the lyrics or the stories they tell. It lies securely in their composition value and unwavering balance of genres. Envision the story of an epic hero composed by Mozart with a power guitar and replace the choir of heavenly voices with a half blues/half metal vocalist, then throw in a couple of acoustic guitars. If that sounds nearly impossible to pull off, it's because it is, but Opeth did it.

Epicity is not for everyone, but if you're the type of person who seeks liquid intensity in the form of music then Opeth's Orchid is one of the greatest albums you've probably never heard of.